Trials and Truth

The past few weeks have been tough for me. I have found myself feeling overwhelmed, doubting and crying out in grief and pain. And God has been faithful to bring truth, as he always is. He has been gracious to give me friends who long to walk alongside of me even when I am pushing them away. He has been gracious to gently restore truth in the places where I need it.
As I said, I have been reading 1,000 Gifts. I had put it aside for probably a month and picked it back up over the weekend. Yesterday I started reading a chapter I had actually read before but this time around struck me in many deep ways. The following is a section from it. In it she references Exodus. This part of Exodus is following Moses' return from the mountain, where in his absence the people had created idols in God's place. So Moses is doubting what he is doing on this crazy journey, God's plan, angry at the people he is leading for being so weak and fearful, etc... God has told Moses in this conversation"My presence shall go with you, I will give you rest (33:14)" Yet Moses continues to question. Oh, and nobody could see God's face...remember Moses had to veil his face to be in his presence...And prior to this she has been talking about looking back and seeing God, like crossing a bridge and looking in the rear view mirror and realizing it supported you. Okay, now that it is set up a bit here are Ann Voskamp's words:
Exodus 33:22-23 "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back."
Is that it? When it gets dark, it's only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? In the pitch, I feel like I'm falling, sense the bridge giving way, God long absent. In the dark, the bridge and my world shakes, cracking dreams. But maybe this is true reality: It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors. Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us..Then He will remove His hand. Then we will look. Then we look back and see His back."

Ellie's Run for Africa

This is an event I have been supporting for I don't know, 6 or so years. Ellie's Run started here in Nashville when a 10ish year old girl at our church heard someone talk about Kenya and the disparity between life here and there. She couldn't believe that children her age couldn't go to school if they didn't have shoes, uniforms or books. So she convinced her parents to start a 5K run to raise money. I don't think any of them knew the impact that this idea would have.
I think Ellie's Run is on it's 8th year and has raised thousands to help children and schools in the slums of Kibera in Kenya.
The run is a fun day..they have a kids run, which is my favorite part of the day and booths and kids events along with the 5K race. And their t-shirts are always awesome.
If you are free May 19th you should come out, even if you don't want to run and support Ellie's Run.

1,000 Gifts Quote

I have been off and on reading the book 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. She challengers herself to write down 1,000 gifts from God and in the midst begins to see how a life of thanksgiving transforms so many parts of her. So far, I would recommend it. She is wordy but I love her descriptions and her wordiness.
This is a quote that I found in my journal today that I needed to find again. Thankful for that.

"I wonder too ... if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. To see through to God. That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave."

AT

Wishing I was doing what we were doing last weekend...the annual Pops and Reb camping weekend. We met up on a different stretch of the Appalachian Trail to put some miles under our feet and enjoy spending time together in the rejuvenating woods. My hip held up okay and we had a great time.
Thru hikers (folks doing the entire 2,180 miles of the AT) generally start in late March or early April. We were hiking around where many thru hikers were passing, so we met a lot of folks who had been on the trail for about a month and had made it from Georgia to where we were on the Tenn/NC border. We camped near a couple from Maryland who prepped and dehydrated all their meals for their entire time on the trail. These meals will be mailed to them as they pass through different towns along the trail. Our other camping buddy was a guy from Manchester, England. We also met a guy hiking who was going 20-24 miles a day, which is insane..most other consider a good day 12-15.
Here are a few shots from our time together.

Start of the hike

Sunrise from our campsite

Chilly morning to start out

Blazes

By the French Broad...at the end of the hike

All finished for this year...behind us is a great view of the mountains!

New

This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." Lamentations 3:21-24

Sunday Quotes

As I was in outdoors church this morning I have no Midtown quotes. But this is one of my favorites...there is too much to put in here from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but this is one of my favorites. And Dad and I talked about it some this morning so I figured it counted.

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when (Aslan) began to tear the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt."

Spring in the Yard

Spring is here...well it made a grand entry and has backed off a bit. But the plants have arrived and are hopefully not going to be hurt by the last snap of cold. Here is some of what is blooming around so far.

Yay Spring!!

Cheapened desire

Randy talked about desires a few weeks ago in a sermon. He said that we cheapen our desires into wants. What I see as a deep desire or longing of my heart, such as to be known and loved-I can cheapen that desire into a want that I have control over-like finding more friends who will like me, etc. This pattern shows up in a lot of different places. This morning I was lucky to have a meeting with some people from our church and a lot of our discussion resonated and reminded me of this.
What we were talking about specifically was community and how people desire to "plug-in" at our church. I think a lot of this want or cry is a cry of our deeper desires. And I love that my my church longs for me/we to understand the desires of my heart and not necessarily get this thing that I think I need or want. I have realized over the years of going  to Midtown how much the gospel is the river flowing through all that they preach, how our services are designed, and how they wish for us to go deeper in smaller groups. This gospel transformation has to happen within me personally before I see my need for community, before I see my need of a world outside that need to be loved.
And this gospel transforming my heart is not a quick fix or a quick change...it is something that is born out of long suffering, out of me reaching the end of myself and seeing my need, of me experiencing deep loneliness and allowing someone to see me there, out of patience and faith. It happens when I realize I am ready to pay the price to step out of the shadows and allow others to really know me and see me. The price is high but the gain is great. And it is a step that I must take over and over as my tendency is to want to hide or want the cheap quick fix.

Easter Weekend

Maybe I will post on Sunday too but today, as it is Good Friday, we had a service at church.
 As we were preparing to take communion these were the words spoken:
  "The bread and the wine are not intended to satisfy but to awaken a deeper hunger within us."
We heard a lot of scripture, sang and this, a favorite of mine, is a verse from Not what my hands have done:
 Thy work alone, O Christ,
  Can ease this weight of sin
  Thy blood alone O Lamb of God,
  Can give me peace within.
  Thy love to me O God,
  Not mine, O Lord, to Thee
  Can rid me of
  This dark unrest,
  And set my spirit free!
Thankful for the sacrifice, the entrance of grace, and the desire for a deeper hunger.

Sewing Project

When we were kids, Mom taught us how to sew and Jenne and I sewed several things, including an awesome jam type outfit...mine was yellow with flowers hers was the same fabric but hot pink. So fitting.
Since then I have done a few small projects here and there but really not much. But a few months ago I found a tutorial on how to sew a skirt so I thought I would give it a whirl. I didn't intend to do it while Mom was here, but I am really glad I did because she taught me some fancy skills and helped make it look a lot more finished. And she is a patient teacher. And thanks to Leah for lending her sewing machine and tools :)
In classic Rebekah form I thought it would only take a little while to do, and of course it took a lot longer (yes, Danielle I still do this though I do think I am getting better at estimating time :)
If you are interested in the pattern here is the link. We made some adaptations to the pattern like doing french seams, sewing the top of the elastic pocket and sewing the elastic in in two spots to the waistband doesn't flip, etc.
All in all I think it turned out great!

Measuring and pinning

Mom, teaching me a thing or two

Me, making mistakes and fixing them

The finished product

I wore it this morning for Birthday Breakfast