Fear and Faith

In church and small group we have been following Tim Keller's book Jesus the King which is about the book of Mark. Fear has been a topic of several sermons and chapters and has been on my mind for the past few weeks....realizing some underlying fears and realizing that I don't truly believe that God is enough when it boils down to it. Fear and faith are opposite sides of the coin and so much of my life happens on the fear side, whether I realize it or not. My fear is exposed in my thoughts in a large degree, but also in my actions.
As my trip approaches I realize the fears that I carry with this trip and I end up carrying the weight of those fears instead of flipping the coin and having faith that God will provide. As always this trip brings its own set of challenges and blessings and I anticipate what God will reveal in this time. And I am glad that I have had these months leading up to the spend time with this idea.

Aaahhh

Kenya is fast approaching. Somehow it always just springs up. In the summer it feels like there is so much time and now it is almost here. Two weeks! Hoping and praying that all the time, all the lists, all the work is going to have covered all that we will need for that week and a half. In times like this I am humbled yet again to remember that as much as I plan and work it is all gods project. I am a part, yes, but he is in control. Hoping this beings rest and peace. 

Beach

I am lucky. Or blessed. Whichever word you like to use. 

I have several friends here who know me well; who have known me through the hard times of past years, who have walked with me as I have grown, who have laughed hysterically with me, who have cried with me, who know so much of my history that we can fall in step easily. 

I went to the beach with some people who fall into this category. And it was wonderful. Ridiculous, real and wonderful. 

AT

Last week Dad and I met for or annual AT hike. We had to postpone this spring since I was enjoying the PNW. We had an addition on this trip-Jen!

We were on the trail for three days and had great fall weather. 

Hiked 20 miles...my old body wasn't used to wearing a pack for that many miles so I am still feeling the bruises on my body! 

The leaves haven't quite started turning but it was beautiful nonetheless.  I was impressed that my phone camera could catch all the beautiful layers of mountains in the smokies 

I love these hikes with Dad. It is one of my favorite times of year. Looking forward to adding more miles next spring. 

Writing

Since the beginning of August I have started a new habit. A good habit. I am writing every morning. It started as a study-following the book or idea called The Artists' Way. Her premise is to wake up and write first thing in the morning. No structure just stream of consiousness-whatever comes to mind. Her idea is that whatever your art form is, be it your job, painting, being a mom, taking this time each morning opens you up to creativity and to being who you are. I admit, I had some doubts. But it has been a really great experience. During this time I am sometimes amazed by what I write-what is in my head and heart that needs to come to the surface. and an introvert it is good for me to get some stuff out of my head. I may not have good words for why it has been good or what I had gained but I am so so glad that I have set this time aside for me each morning. 

Lyrics

This morning at church we sang one of my old RUF favorites: Jesus I My Cross Have Taken. The lyrics are so beautiful and simple. The following especially-the resounding voice of God's love for me. And what is entailed in calling him Father-love, protection, provision, grace, rest.....

I have called Thee, "Abba, Father;" I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me

If you want to see the rest of the lyrics you can visit this site 

8 invitations

I have written about this a bit, but last year I started going to counseling. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
One of the things we worked through was what Jenny, my counselor, called the 8 Invitations. Through the process I learned more about who I was, how I operate-both in functional and dysfunctional ways, and how to walk in more of who my true self is. That is a really brief summary.
All that to say, Jenny has put a lot of this material online. Obviously there is a lot to get out of it by walking through it with her and having her ask questions and guide, however the material on its own is good.
If interested, check it out:
www.8invitations.com