Enjoy

Now that I am more mobile I am trying to enjoy the end of my time off work.
I have spent the last 4 days doing just that...enjoying the sweet company of dear friends, laughing until I was snorting and or/crying, being silly, sitting back and looking at the precious gifts God has given me in each of these women. I am thankful for the friendships he has given me...thankful for all each friendship brings in their uniqueness, glad that each person is created beautifully and wonderfully different and to be a part of my life.
Hoping I can carry this enjoyment back into the mundane days as well.

Passover

Reading through Exodus these days. This season has led to some feelings that I am wandering and don't know exactly where I am headed, so I thought maybe I could sympathize with the Israelites.
Anyway, I skipped over the plagues a bit because I wanted to get to the Passover and the part in the desert. Today I read about God's instructions for the Passover in Exodus 12
⁷ Then they are to take some of the blood and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the lambs.That same night they are to eat the meat roasted over the fire, along with bitter herbs, and bread made without yeast. Do not eat the meat raw or boiled in water, but roast it over a fire—with the head, legs and internal organs. Do not leave any of it till morning; if some is left till morning, you must burn it. This is how you are to eat it: with your cloak tucked into your belt, your sandals on your feet and your staff in your hand. Eat it in haste; it is the Lord’s Passover. “On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the Lord. The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt.  
What struck me about this today was the instructions on how to eat the food-don't leave any for tomorrow, eat in haste, eat with your clothes on ready to go. Eat bread without yeast-there is no time to wait for it to rise. For the Israelites, they had to eat in haste and be ready, for literally their life was at stake-to not have the blood on the door or to not be ready when the Lord called them to go meant death. They were trusting that the unknown was better than their life of slavery.
As I think of it for me today, I think about not leaving any food for tomorrow referring to my ability to trust in God each day to provide. I don't need to put something back just in case tomorrow I don't have what I think I need-He is saying he will provide. This beautiful sacrament we remember and celebrate-the body and the blood shed- the body is my sustenance, my daily bread...all that is provided for me.
This part of Exodus is really the beginning of God's covenant to the Israelites...He is promising to take them out of their slavery and into new life (sounds familiar, huh?). 
Do I trust that God will fulfill his covenant promise to me now? Do I trust enough that I am eating in haste, ready to go? Do I trust enough to not put something back for a rainy, hard day? Or I am I the one tucking meat into my cloak and too scared to walk out the door into the unknown? Do I even know how to listen to his voice telling me it is time to go?

 

Reynolda Gardens

Reynolda Gardens is a place I love to visit when in Winston. I don't know if it is the memories of growing up or the beauty and simplicity of the garden or thinking about people living there and roaming those same gardens 90 years ago that draw me there. The gardens are just a part of what was once a huge house, stables, servants houses, etc. Now the house is a museum and the rest of the old "houses" are stores and restaurants. The gardens were recently redone to mimic how they were in the 1920s...it is simple but I still love it. Mom and I went one evening last week and wandered...

This was where we took prom pictures senior year...Thought it should get included :)

Thursday-Milestone Day

Another week has passed...I am 6 weeks past my surgery. How time...um...flies? Some days I struggle to be thankful...all I see is what I dislike about where I am. Other days I am thankful for this time. I am able to see how much progress I have made in 6 weeks. I can do things now that I haven't been able to do since December when all this started, which is a huge deal. Funny how perspective can make all the difference...What do I chose to focus on...
In other news, all this free time has given me tons of time to do things to get ready for Kenya. I know where we are on the supply front which is great. We have been working on a lot of stuff for the non-profit we are starting (Hearts of East Africa). I feel very organized ahead of time which is great. Especially because I know once I start back to work the fall will fly and it will be time to leave.
Now that I am at home, Mom and I have been bargain shopping for gifts for our patients. It is fun to get out and do it with Mom because she loves all things relating to Kenyans and gifts and Kenyan children...I have to restrain her.

Sunday

I sometimes lose track of the things I post about, so apologies if this is a repeat on the song :)
These are a few words from church this morning that hit my heart in exactly the ways I needed it today.
Lyrics from I am Set Free (All Sons and Daughters)
  You broke my chains of sin and shame and you covered me with grace.
  You mend my life with your holy fire
  You cover me with grace.
  You are the hand that reaches out to save
  I am set free
  It is for freedom that i am set free.
Psalm 139:1-4
O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.  You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.

 

Keller

If you haven't read Counterfeit Gods I highly recommend it. I have been through it several times and every time I am made so aware of how many idols lie within my heart.
In each chapter he reinforces this truth-you can't just get rid of your idols, they must be replaced by something. There is a deeper desire or issue that lies behind each of our idols. He quotes this phrase:
"The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one."
I don't really have much more to say on that other than I have been thinking about this all week since starting reading. It really does help to focus on the new love and not trying to not do the thing you are trying to not do. Make sense?

Re-Reads

I have lost count of the number of books I have read in the last 5 weeks (yes, I am already 5 weeks post surgery). This week I decided to do a few re-reads.
This is an all time favorite. Really I have enjoyed all of Tim Keller's books

The other re-read I picked up is Crime and Punishment. I remember it as being one of my favorites in high school. I have yet to remember why. It isn't bad, just not my favorite. We will see if I make it through the whole 500 + pages. I think I can if I read something else lighter at the same time. I will be interested to see if I remember why I enjoyed it so much. Maybe that says a lot about what they made us read in school if that was my favorite of all. Or maybe my reading taste has adapted.
Other reads that are worth commenting about: The Hobbit. Great, read it, go see it this fall. Death Comes to Pemberly. She takes the characters from Pride and Prejudice and continues a story with them. Gone Girl. Strangely fascinating, but also a bit depressing. From High Heels to Tractor Wheels. The Pioneer Woman's story of meeting and marrying her husband-sweet, laugh out loud funny, interesting.
Today I decided I am going to do some home maintenance-one project each week. Today I will clean the dishwasher. We will see how long this lasts :)

Lake Shots

Here are some shots from the beautiful, relaxing White Lake. Taking pictures is not super easy on crutches.

Back

Been on "vacation" at the lake. I feel like my whole life is technically a vacation right now, though it hasn't been feeling like one. Hopefully with the loss of crutches and gaining the ability to drive again I can reclaim a little more feel of vacation.
Tomorrow is my big milestone...4 weeks post surgery which means I get to start getting rid of the crutches, I can drive and I can start bending down fully again. It is crazy how training yourself to not do something for 4 weeks is even hard to un-do. My PT is letting me start putting more weight on it today and it is now so instinctual to not do any of those things that I find myself retraining my brain. If it is this hard with something physical, how hard is it for my brain to not fall into its ruts of coping and thinking?
I will add some lake photos in the next few days when I retrieve my camera from upstairs. Until then, I'll include a little section from The Hobbit, my latest read. I wanted to re-read this before the movie comes out this fall.
This section is from the very beginning and I will admit has got me thinking some about my own life and readiness for "adventure." This is the very first few pages of the book when Gandalf comes to invite Bilbo Baggins on the greatest adventure of his life. Bilbo is a homely hobbit who likes his comforts of a warm house and second dinners and does not want to disturb his routine. I know there are so many scriptural comparisons in Tolkien's books that I probably never see or understand, but I got this one and love it.
 Gandalf said, "But I have no time to blow smoke-rings this morning. I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.".....
(Bilbo:) "Sorry! I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Good Morning! But please come to tea-any time you like!".....
Gandalf in the meantime was still standing outside the door, and laughing long but quietly...Then he strode away, just about the time when Bilbo was finishing his second cake and beginning to think that he had escaped adventures very well."