Kenya...so far we are a go people

This week has been busy. Period. I have decided I have entered into that pre-trip phase of getting little sleep and having my mind be filled constantly with things related to it. 
What I was not expecting was that the actual trip and if it would occur would be questioned. I won't go into the details too much, but basically on the Somalia Kenya border there has been some unrest related to a rebel group within Somalia kidnapping some relief workers at a refugee camp on the border in Kenya. Kenyan troops have retaliated by entering Somalia. That has spurred this rebel group to threaten Kenya. All this has happened in the last week and suddenly I was seeing headlines on CNN saying terrorist threat to Kenya.
So this week has been filled with a lot of asking questions of safety from people living in Kenya, lots of prayers for wisdom and guidance and resolution of conflict and lots of attempts at trusting God within all of this.
I know we never know what the future holds but this makes that even more evident. And has made it even more evident how little I trust and how much I want control over everything in my life. But God has different plans...he calls me to trust him, to listen for his voice and his leading, and to follow. Even if this goes against what I want to do or even if the risks seem great. I can trust His voice and His hold over my life and the direction that he is taking me.
John 10:27-28
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.

But first...

A couple weeks ago I posted about making room for imperfection. I love seeing how lessons come in the right timing...exactly when I need  it, usually to prepare me for the next thing (even though I have no clue what that next thing is). This is another good example of that. All that being said...I promised a few pictures from what had been bringing a lot of this to the surface when it came to leadership and not being in control. Habitat builds...

 Stella, the soon to be owner of a new house

Get it, Leah.

By the end of the day we had framed exterior and interior walls of this house and I had suddenly become thankful for all the challenges this had thrown my way. Funny how that can work.

Fall Festivities

One of my favorite things to do in the fall is go to the Pumpkin Patch in Franklin. I love walking through the rows and rows of pumpkins on the vine and finding a good one. So pretty much every year I make my friends come along :) And strangely every year we go on a day where it is really warm..hence the tank tops and shorts people have on.

Kristen and Ben got some awesomely big pumpkins...on the vine they are still green and will turn orange as the sun ripens them. I was into the little guys this year and I love these light orange ones.

Oh and check on the giant squash that I picked out of the garden last week. I think that the summer garden is over now that we have had some cold days. But our potatoes are sprouting again and the lettuce I planted is starting to pop out of the ground.

More on Kenya updates next blog...it is coming up so soon!! If you have been looking at the news there is some unrest going on on the Somali Kenya border so just pray for peace and wisdom as we continue preparing to go.

I am not as good as I would like to think

I live most of the time thinking I am not such a bad person. I live in denial of the grossness of my heart and my inability well really to do anything with God. Last week I felt like God was hitting me with bomb after bomb of reminders of how gross I really am. I won't go into too many details but let's say I was shown my failures in relationships, in communicating, in patience, in judgmental-ness, in love...etc etc. You get the picture.
In the midst of all of that exhaustion it is easy for me to get caught up in shame...in feeling like I need to apologize to every person I encounter for all my yuck and to feel like I owe God something. Well, of course, in typical fashion, I show up for church Sunday and essentially this was the topic of the sermon: our un-godliness. Randy talked about our tendency toward selfishness, control and destruction. And then we had some sweet time for repentance and worship.
Repentance.
Tim Keller defined gospel repentance as this: "But in the gospel the purpose of repentance is to repeatedly tap into the joy of our union with Christ in order to weaken our need to do anything contrary to God's heart." I like this definition...I think I used to think that if I repented I was saying I will never do this again. But I know I will learn this same lesson over and over. In my coming to the Lord I am saying my desire is to find life in you alone and to remember how you provide for everything I need.

Best Pumpkin Bread

I can boast about this recipe because it is not my own. We made this recipe in 4th grade in class with my not so nice or favorite teacher who will remain nameless. I do love this recipe though and made my first batch of the fall. I usually stock up on the pumpkin so I can keep making it long past the fall season.

Here are all the ingredients assembled: (note...this recipe makes 2 loafs or a lot of muffins so half it if you want...I freeze the other half of my pumpkin for the next batch)
3 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup oil
   Blend these 3 together, then blend in:
1 can pumpkin
Slowly add the dry ingredients:
3 1/2 c flour (I use wheat flour)
1 t baking powder
1 1/4 t salt
2 t. baking soda
1/2 t cloves
1 t. cinnamon
1 t nutmeg
1 t. allspice
   Blend well, then blend in:
2/3 cup water.
  The batter will seem wet but this is what makes it m-o-i-s-t (as much as I hate that word, this bread is that)

Pour into 2 greased bread pans or muffin papers and bake at 350. Bread 55 minutes, muffins 18 minutes.
  It smells amazing in my house right now! Yay fall!

National Arthritis Day

In honor of National Arthritis Day (which was yesterday)I decided I would talk about my newest endeavor in the world of RA....acupuncture. I have been thinking about trying it for awhile and finally decided to bite the bullet when a friend gave me a recommendation. I don't fully understand how acupuncture works but this is my understanding as of yet. It is an ancient Chinese tradition that works with the body's energy, or Qi (yes, the infamous scrabble word we all use at some point). It doesn't claim to cure disease but relieve symptoms and help put the body back to a balanced state of health so hopefully the symptoms don't reoccur. It is used for all sorts of symptoms.
I went with really no expectations. The first treatment I was a little freaked out but since then I have found it to be the most relaxing thing I have ever experienced. Yes, sounds insane that laying somewhere with a bunch of tiny needles can be relaxing but it is. And no it doesn't hurt...every once in awhile when he puts one in it pinches a little but you really don't notice them.
One of the most annoying symptoms of RA for me has been fatigue...I walk around feeling like I got 4 hours of sleep even though I have had 9. But since starting the acupuncture my energy has increased and I feel, most days, way more like normal. And I have been able to come down on my steroids. So they may have made a believer out of me.
Happy Arthritis Day!

Getting Ready!

Departure for Kenya is less than a month away! Kenya has become a place that is dear to my heart...a safe place, a place of rest (well heart rest, not body rest really), a place of fellowship, a place of joy, a place of learning...it is a special place. I am starting to lose count but I think this is my 6th time going to the country and 4th time going to Tenwek to lead up the nurses on our cardiac trip.
At this point every day my brain is thinking of things that I need to remember to bring or have forgotten...we have hit crunch time! And I can't wait to get there.
One of the big jobs we have is bringing all the medical supplies we will need to run the ICU for 2 weeks. So last weekend some of the nursing crew got together to sort through all the stuff we have collected.

So much stuff!! Today I also got some stuff from this great place called Project Cure.

They are a non-profit that collects supplies from hospitals and then sorts it and ships it to third world countries. I have volunteered over there some and our group of nurses volunteered over there. So they let us take a few things that we need for our trip. Thanks, Project Cure!!
Soon this will be my view

Actually, more realistically this will be my view. But I am okay with it!

Making Room for Imperfection

The past few weeks I have been learning the tough lesson of putting aside a lot of my expectations and ideas and submitting and trusting. Eesh...I have failed pretty badly at it. I have been in charge of organizing some stuff and things weren't working out as easily as planned. I know in my mind I had this ideal scenario of how people were going to be running to participate and loving every second of what came out of it. Well, the first problem was people were in no way running. And suddenly my ideal plan was taking on a shape of its own that I wasn't too crazy about. In the midst of the process I found myself bitter, angry, blaming others, trying so hard to hold onto my picture of things.
Long story short everything turned out great...I was just the one having problems letting it turn into what it was going to turn into. I had trouble giving up control; I had trouble letting go of my ideal expectation; I had trouble being okay with things not being perfect and laying my pride to rest; I had trouble not feeling like I was letting people down by not having it be this certain way. I had trouble making room for imperfection. And the imperfection that came out of it was a beautiful picture and one I could not have created on my own.
I am sure there are many other areas in my life where I need to make room for imperfection....dare I ask for those to be revealed?
Once I have a few pictures from the experience I will post them.