I am finally feeling like myself the past 2 days. I don't know if the anesthesia effects finally wore off or if it is taking less pain medicine that has brought me out of the fog, but I am glad to feel like me.
I have been having a pretty big pity party for myself in the last week. I can be good at throwing those parties but they are really only fun for me because I think it makes me feel better to feel bad for myself and my situation and to be mad at God and ignore him. But really it is not that much fun..it leaves me feeling empty and alone.
I returned to 1,000 Gifts to help pull me out of the fog yesterday and it sang to my hardened heart of a God who loves me, a God who I can trust.
And then last night my friend sent me a devotional/prayer, so this is an excerpt from that:
"The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not
delivered by his great strength. The war horse is a false hope for
salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue. Behold, the eye of
the LORD is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast
love. Ps. 33:16-18
It is His unfailing love that we can, and must, hope
in. There is no other supply sufficient to the need. There is no other
strength sufficient for the task. There is no other balm sufficient for
the pain. There is no other rest sufficient for the exhaustion. There is
no hope sufficient for the crisis. "
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