Dignity

Tonight has been a hard, sad night. The patient who we did surgery on Monday, Dotta has not been doing great. He came to us last week for a few days so we had gotten to know him some last week. He was an old man in a 12 year old body...very shy, observant and stubborn. On Monday when they saw his heart everyone realized it was sicker than they thought, but we proceeded to try and help it as we could. He was doing okay the day after surgery until the afternoon and developed some GI bleeding. Then this afternoon he arrested. They got him back but he was so sick after. By tonight we knew there was nothing more we could do for him-he was on so many blood pressure medicines and still he was on the verge of arresting again. So we decided to withdraw the medicines and the breathing tube and let him be with Jesus.
I think he would not have lived much longer if we hadn't tried surgery. And I think that we did all we could for him. I will never understand how God works, but tonight I felt a lot of peace in the situation. We allowed him dignity-a chance to fight to live and a chance to die with peace and not suffer any longer.
It was an emotional night. His mother, who has 7 other children, was so strong all day. She finally lost it and just wept and mourned outloud for her youngest son. Those of us here shed  many tears.
Dotta loved to be prayed with, as did his mother. I know he is with Jesus. His mother told me the day of surgery that she trusted God and that he knew Dotta. I know that God knows Dotta and knew how his life would play out. I am confident in that.