Monday, again

Whew! I am beat! We did get a bit of rest in yesterday...all our patients were out to the floor by lunch time on Sunday and my alarm clock broke Sunday, so I got more sleep than I was supposed to, which was pretty awesome.
The rest of the team is here and yesterday we had a big group meeting to go through the patients for this week. They had a list of 28 patients, which was not including many patients who they have either decided are too sick for us to do, are too well to need it now, or who are too far past us being able to do anything. It is really hard to sit there and make decisions-not that I am really making decisions-but it feels like such a heavy weight. I know we are not ultimately the ones making decisions, that God has placed certain children here and certain children on the surgeons hearts and minds, but man it is really hard to know how to make these decisions.
Before the week got crazy we decided to go for a sunrise hike up to Montego, the hill about an hours walk from Tenwek. I have been up there several times and it is gorgeous, you can see for miles around, plots of land, the hospital. But sunrise was unreal. It was amazing! We had to get up and start hiking at 430, but it was worth it. Eventually I'll get some pictures on here (I put a few photos on heartsofeastafrica.blogspot.com).
We got back in time for me to go get 6 of our patients from last week to go get a follow up ECHO. They should have all gone home today, but transportation was an issue for many. I love those ladies..their smiles, how they greet us. They are so thankful and praise God for all that He has done. It was a good morning.
We got a bit of education in before the patients came out.
We got through 2 cases today. A sweet VSD who came out with personality, yelling at us because she had been pricked too many times and wanting water. She got sweeter a few hours later and is doing great.
The second case went differently than we thought, but the patient was doing okay when we left the ICU tonight. Prayers for his night.
I am struck over and over by how we are not in control here. It can feel like we are and that we have all this pressure to decide on these, but we are not. I went out to pray with our second patients' mother and after we finished praying she said in Swahili, essentially that God knows her son, that he loves him and will take care of him and do his will. 
Going to get a bit of rest!