Back Home

We have made it back home and I am beat....just trying to force myself to stay awake until 730. I haven't had much time to decompress or process from the trip at all (my brain was too tired on the plane) so that will come later.
I did have a sweet last day at Tenwek. All our patients had left the unit by the time I woke up from my nap Sunday around lunchtime. It was so nice to have the afternoon off! We went up to check on everyone, took a group photo of all the children and then had some much needed downtime. I went for a walk because I just love the area around the hospital and it is hard to get any Rebekah time during the busy week. While walking, first I saw an eclipse, which I had no clue was happening and then as I continued my walk I saw a rainbow. Between the two incredible things in nature, especially the rainbow and the Biblical representation, I felt so surrounded by God. Seeing that rainbow just reminded me again of how much He loves these children, who would appear to have every odd against them living through a heart defect. But He is present there and He brought each of those children to us. I just loved that thought as I was enjoying the scenery and my time alone.
I woke up early before we left Monday to do the same-go for a walk and get one last look at all our kiddos. It is hard to say goodbye and leave and have to trust that they will be okay. I get so used to seeing them so frequently and having a hand in their care that it is difficult to leave them. But again I was reminded that they are being cared for.
Off to sleep

Shutting things Down

It is Saturday night around 120 AM. We just have two patients in the unit, both are sleeping well and tonight we have no Kenyan nurses. Stephanie and I are holding down the fort here.
The week has flown by!! I cannot believe that it is almost over. Once the week starts it just takes off and I feel like I have no time to process what I am feeling or how things are going. So it will take me some time to get there. It has been good overall. We make progress each year we come, which is good to see. And we had a great team.
I absolutely love the children we get to take care of here. They are each so dear and so tough....much tougher than most American kids. They are all ready to fight back and get to feeling better, getting out of bed and walking so early after surgery.
We are listening to music here in the unit tonight to stay awake and one of my favorites is playing-The Love of God
"The Love of God, how rich and pure, how measureless and strong"
Being here there is no denying seeing God's love-be it in how we care for our patients, or watching a Momma's love for her little one, or seeing how patients recover, or even just our beautiful surroundings...He truly is everywhere and is constantly showing me his love.
Let me try to put up a few pictures of some of these cute faces....

Halloween

Well they don't celebrate Halloween here so it is a bit anti climactic. It was a good day though. I switched to working nights which is nice in some ways. I got to go for a walk today and rest which was nice. And at night it is less chaotic. Day times are just busier. So it has been nice to get a little break.

Today my prayer had been one my Mom passed on to me before I left. I don't have it in front of me but the first portion is something to the effect of This day is yours and it is followed by more but I have just been thinking on this day is yours. And enjoying the gifts and challenges it brings 

Shot from my walk. Love the African skies! 

Emmanuel who I just think is so sweet. 

Whew

I am already so tired an it is wed! How have I been doing this for two weeks on past trips? 

Today was a fun busy day. They did two cath cases who came out on my shift and one surgery where they worked on two valves. The little boy is Ian and he was pretty sick going into surgery. It is amazing to be witness to these miraculous recoveries. They OR team was really worried about him but as we see so much here he had his breathing tube out several hours later. For those on Facebook we have a Hearts of East Africa Facebook page with a great video of him singing and pretending to drive a car. He wants to be a doctor when he grows up. As he tells you on the video :)

The second case came out late, Jemima. She was apparently doing quite well. We were actually supposed to repair her two years ago and she got bumped last minute. I talked to her mother today who told me she still had the beads we had given her two years ago. If we didn't do surgery on her this ear she likely wouldn't have made it another year. 

We sent our first two patients to the wards. They were both such cute little ladies. Faith finally smiled for us once we pulled out her chest tubes. But prudence was still holding onto a mean scowl. She literally sat up in bed for the first five hours of the day looking very stern. Such a trip!!

Here is a picture of Faith

Tuesday

I am about to hit the sack but wanted to put in a quick update. Today went well. Prudence had a VSD closed and is doing great. Already been sitting up in bed ad drinking. She has the sweetest disposition. 

They also did a cath procedure, Selly, who stayed with us for a few hours. During this the use a balloon inserted through the groin to open up a cake in the heart that has become narrowed. 

The second case, Emmanuel, had not come back from the OR when I left at 7. He was a yet repair and supposedly did well in the OR. He was so sweet before hand. Really serious but if you asked for a smile he was quick to give it. Hopefully he is up there doing well as I lay my tired head down. 

Being here is so refreshing and fun. Just getting to take care of patients in a pure fashion is enjoyable. And the teaching, though it is tiring is good too. I am always reminded when I get here how much it is we are trying to teach these nurses. At home they would get a 6 month training an here we are just doing it as we go! 

Okay more tomorrow and hopefully some photos. 

Quick update

Quick update on the day. Faith made it out of surgery and did really well. She has we breathing tube out and is already drinking water. Of course-these children love water and they want it immediately after surgery. She had a hole between the bottom two chambers of her heart that the surgeon closed. They decided to just do one case today for times sake. 

Faiths momma is with her. She is a widow...her husband died when she was 6 months pregnant. Faith is 1 and a half now. She decided to name her Faith because she, as a now single mom, would need faith to handle what lay ahead of her. 

We are discussing the patients they saw today and making more decisions now. 

I am tired! The first case is always stressful. There are so many people and things take longer to work out. But we did it and hopefully tomorrow there will be a few less people in the ICU :) I think it was about 100 degrees as one point in the room. 

Pics

Here are a few shots from the hike yesterday. (Ps I am impressed by my iPhone's ability to take photos).

This is what we have been up to this morning. Getting set up and then teaching. (The baby in the picture is our second patient for the day.)We have several returning nurses and several new ones. So it doesn't quite feel like we are starting from scratch but there is still a lot to teach. 

Sunday

Again, I will try and upload photos tomorrow but today has been a good day....relaxing and exciting. The start of the week.
I woke up super early this morning and hiked up to a hill near the hospital with a lot of our team. We got up there while it was still dark and watched the sunrise. There is really no way to describe it...it is something that you will just have to see my pictures of. But it is a great way to start the week...being bathed in God's beauty and in the remembrance of his love for me. And his provision for me.
I got a quick power nap in and then went to church, which was rather lengthy today because they had some guest speakers (we'll say to the tune of 2 and a half hours).
The rest of the team got here this afternoon so we finished setting up and had our meeting.
This part of the trip has hit me hard the past few years. They have seen about 30 patients in clinic and there are probably 6 that are definite yes for surgery, probably 15 that are rheumatic cases that may be operated on by the adult team and then the rest are children we can do nothing for. And that is just the children who have lived long enough to show up here. I can't imagine the number that have passed already. It is really hard. It is hard to make these decisions. Hard to sit there and discuss them. Hard to realize even if we tried to fix them we would make some worse. It is just hard to see the scope of the problem and know we are putting a tiny bandaid on it. A bandaid that is super helpful for this handful of children, but there are so many here, in this one country.
I am so tired from waking up early for the hike that my brain doesn't have room for much more. Good night from Kenya.

Trying to post a few pictures here and they are all in reverse order. Can't be picky here people

The first photo is of the area that we turn into the ICU. We got in this morning an spent all day first seeing what they actually have, clearing out what isn't useful, and then sorting and organizing what we need. It was a good full day. And the stuff they have here can be very random. They really never throw anything away so there is a lot to do. And I had time for a walk this morning to enjoy this beautiful place. 

The next photo is of my walk from my house to the hospital. And the last is of some acaia trees from the ride here yesterday. 

Allright gonna get some rest. We are doing a sunrise hike before the week gets going so I have an early start tomorrow. The rest of the team will arrive and we will unpack them and then meet to figure out our first patients. 

Back in my second or third home

I am back at home, or atleast in one of my homes. (I like to consider Italy my other home)
We made it through all 4 legs of our travel-from Nashville to Dallas to Dubai to Nairobi and then the drive to Tenwek. All went really smoothly...got our bags all here safely and navigated through the newly pieced together airport after the recent fire. And no issues in Nairobi.
No matter how many times I get to make the drive from Nairobi to Tenwek I am struck by several things...first the immense beauty in this country. We drive through the Great Rift Valley, which is quite amazing, but the countryside otherwise is spectacular. I am also struck by the normalcy of life here and how different that is from our life. As we drive we see children running to and from school in their uniforms and knee socks, we see donkeys driving carts full of some type of commodity, we see many many people walking down the dusty roads, people out on the side of the road selling buckets of potatoes or roasted corn. The worlds are so different, yet every person I meet or even just catching strangers' eyes there is so much joy and hope lying beneath. This hits me each year I am here and this year is no different.
The internet is being poky so I can't get any pictures uploaded. Maybe tomorrow...
We will spend tomorrow unpacking and organizing the ICU.
Oh and I have to brag on our Kenyan nurses. We walked into the ICU this afternoon and they had done three adult mitral valve repair cases this week-all of which were still in the ICU (they have been doing these since we left last year). All three patients were out of bed sitting up with a nurse at their side...doing things like incentive spirometry or getting vitals. I felt like a proud Mom! It is so unbelievable to see how much growth and learning has happened here since we started this project in 2008.
More tomorrow hopefully

Let the Journey begin

First flight is down and we are sitting in the Dallas airport waiting for our flight to Dubai and then Nairobi. 

It is crazy that it is this time of year again. When we start planning in May it feels so very far away and the time always sneaks up on me. 

A wave of nerves hit me yesterday when I remembered I am entering into being in charge, being the person everyone asks questions of, and of hoping I remembered to get all of our icu supplies.  But I am comforted to remember as much as I think and act like I am in control someone bigger is. I will rest in that as I am hopefully able to rest on the upcoming 14 hr and 45 minute flight. 

The view from the window this morning made the early morning wake up call worth it. So much beauty in this world. 

Fear and Faith

In church and small group we have been following Tim Keller's book Jesus the King which is about the book of Mark. Fear has been a topic of several sermons and chapters and has been on my mind for the past few weeks....realizing some underlying fears and realizing that I don't truly believe that God is enough when it boils down to it. Fear and faith are opposite sides of the coin and so much of my life happens on the fear side, whether I realize it or not. My fear is exposed in my thoughts in a large degree, but also in my actions.
As my trip approaches I realize the fears that I carry with this trip and I end up carrying the weight of those fears instead of flipping the coin and having faith that God will provide. As always this trip brings its own set of challenges and blessings and I anticipate what God will reveal in this time. And I am glad that I have had these months leading up to the spend time with this idea.

Aaahhh

Kenya is fast approaching. Somehow it always just springs up. In the summer it feels like there is so much time and now it is almost here. Two weeks! Hoping and praying that all the time, all the lists, all the work is going to have covered all that we will need for that week and a half. In times like this I am humbled yet again to remember that as much as I plan and work it is all gods project. I am a part, yes, but he is in control. Hoping this beings rest and peace. 

Beach

I am lucky. Or blessed. Whichever word you like to use. 

I have several friends here who know me well; who have known me through the hard times of past years, who have walked with me as I have grown, who have laughed hysterically with me, who have cried with me, who know so much of my history that we can fall in step easily. 

I went to the beach with some people who fall into this category. And it was wonderful. Ridiculous, real and wonderful. 

AT

Last week Dad and I met for or annual AT hike. We had to postpone this spring since I was enjoying the PNW. We had an addition on this trip-Jen!

We were on the trail for three days and had great fall weather. 

Hiked 20 miles...my old body wasn't used to wearing a pack for that many miles so I am still feeling the bruises on my body! 

The leaves haven't quite started turning but it was beautiful nonetheless.  I was impressed that my phone camera could catch all the beautiful layers of mountains in the smokies 

I love these hikes with Dad. It is one of my favorite times of year. Looking forward to adding more miles next spring. 

Writing

Since the beginning of August I have started a new habit. A good habit. I am writing every morning. It started as a study-following the book or idea called The Artists' Way. Her premise is to wake up and write first thing in the morning. No structure just stream of consiousness-whatever comes to mind. Her idea is that whatever your art form is, be it your job, painting, being a mom, taking this time each morning opens you up to creativity and to being who you are. I admit, I had some doubts. But it has been a really great experience. During this time I am sometimes amazed by what I write-what is in my head and heart that needs to come to the surface. and an introvert it is good for me to get some stuff out of my head. I may not have good words for why it has been good or what I had gained but I am so so glad that I have set this time aside for me each morning. 

Lyrics

This morning at church we sang one of my old RUF favorites: Jesus I My Cross Have Taken. The lyrics are so beautiful and simple. The following especially-the resounding voice of God's love for me. And what is entailed in calling him Father-love, protection, provision, grace, rest.....

I have called Thee, "Abba, Father;" I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me

If you want to see the rest of the lyrics you can visit this site 

8 invitations

I have written about this a bit, but last year I started going to counseling. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
One of the things we worked through was what Jenny, my counselor, called the 8 Invitations. Through the process I learned more about who I was, how I operate-both in functional and dysfunctional ways, and how to walk in more of who my true self is. That is a really brief summary.
All that to say, Jenny has put a lot of this material online. Obviously there is a lot to get out of it by walking through it with her and having her ask questions and guide, however the material on its own is good.
If interested, check it out:
www.8invitations.com

Painting

I have been trying to get back into painting. Art is something I have always enjoyed and painting is a great creative outlet for me. I am just lazy about starting the process. Which is my roadblock in most things-getting myself started. 

A blank page is kind of a fun start. Overwhelming but full of possibilities. 

Sketching

Yep, some of these are my old childhood paints. Complete with my name printed on them. 

And the end result. I usually get my ideas of pintrest.  This is one of them-an abstract Venice canal. Figured I would put my longing for our may vacation to use. 

House of God

Yep...I have been the slacker-est blog post-er ever lately. I have been spending each morning writing on my own so I feel like less of that is coming out here. I have also just been flat out lazy. No other way around that. All good.
Wanted to share one of my new favorite songs these days. We sing one of Jon Foreman's songs in church (I am assuming it is his song), so I was checking out his other music and found this great song. (Photo courtesy of Amazon)

 It is really just the 23rd Psalm but the melody and mood of the song so perfectly fit the words of that Psalm. I feel as if I am sitting in green pastures by a quiet stream with a breeze blowing gently by whispering words of love and trust to me.
Here is the YouTube link if you want to hear it. Happy listening!

Quote Part 2

"Silence gave me back my dignity" Brene Brown. 

This quote has come back to me...one I found while I was in Seattle and learning how to allow room for silence. It has given me pause this week...do I invite silence into my life? Do I create the opportunity for white space or time that I can sit in silence? If not why?

Quote

   Today a friend sent along a clip from a Brene Brown interview. I know I have talked about Brene's work some...her books have been great for me-a lot about honesty, shame, living in who you are, love. Her interview was about the church and allowing brokenness and pain to be a part of it. Basically that life is not easy and we shouldn't act like it is. Or have the expectation. She refers to the idea that church should not be like an epidural for a laboring woman, more like a midwife gently encouraging her to work through the pain.
The idea of pain in the midst of the journey is something I need to hear right now.
She quoted a Leonard Cohen song, which I have always loved both for it's melody and the lyrics. Here is the quote:
  "Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"
Hoping I have the bravery to embrace the broken Hallelujah's a bit more....
  

Words

As an introvert I can live my life in my head. And be pretty content with that. If you are an extrovert, that probably sounds excruciating! Journaling helps me get that mess out of my head. I need that. Though I forget it all the time. Thank you to today's very randomly cool July temperatures 

Journey

This Enneagram thought has been the topic of many thoughts over the last few weeks. What is my journey?

Summer Sorbet

My pictures are not going to this justice. However, I found this recipe on pintrest and it far exceeded my expectations and was super easy.
They have several flavor options, but I chose for my first run to try Strawberry. They all call for bananas, which is apparently to thicken the sorbet-it didn't really make the sorbet taste like bananas. They also call for maple syrup. To say I dislike maple syrup is an understatement, so I substituted agave for the syrup. The nice thing is you can get all these ingredients on a Target run. Easy.
1 1/2 cups frozen strawberries (slightly thawed)
1 1/2 bananas (ripe)
1/4 cup lemon juice (one lemons' worth)
1/3 cup agave
Thaw the strawberries slightly before starting. Have a metal container in the freezer to put the sorbet in (all I have is a loaf pan :).
Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Don't overblend. Place in chilled container and freeze until solid.
Looking forward to trying the other flavors.

The Ladies

Got to spend four wonderful days with the Moyer ladies +Aaron. According to Lydia I should have come on a different day so I could stay all the days :) We did a lot of reading, played at the wading pool, went to ikea, went to the park, ate a lot of great meals courtesy of Danielle who caters to my tricky diet, and had lots of time to hang out and catch up. 

Miss you here sweet friends. Sad I don't get to see those girls more often. 

(Sorry to Lydia for the poor picture-she was trying to see what a magnet would stick to)

This week

I got this cute photo in the mail yesterday.  And in a few days I will get to see these precious faces in person! 

Slack

I have been slack on my blogging lately. I think a lot of it has to do with settling back into life and working through the transition. I say that as if I am on the other end...I don't think I am; I am in the midst of it and am recognizing that.
Last week in our small group we talked about change and how change is Spirit led. We cannot evoke the change we desire (as Paul has so eloquently said in Romans). Parts of me want to be past this phase, to have God answer the questions about life floating around in my head. But I realize that this season has it's place too, so I am attempting to settle into it and be patient. I also had a thought sitting in group that when God does change us, it can leave us in a place on the other side where things in life that used to fit no longer do-it can create a tension that leaves things uncomfortable or empty or just different. Maybe this is what I am feeling.
Either way, here I am....can't change that! :)

Tuscany

I enjoyed each moment of our trip, but I think we all agreed several of our favorite days were in Tuscany. We rented a car and stayed at this wonderful agriturismo, which is like a bed and breakfast, outside of San Gimignano. Though some of our time was spent lost in the car trying to navigate the Italian road signs or lack there of (which we did master) it was so wonderful to drive and see such beautiful countryside together.

The home we stayed in was also wonderful. It is an old 1300s home that has been restored-they have kept and restored the terra cotta roofs and wooden beamed ceilings. It was gorgeous. It was a few miles outside of San Gimignano and we had a great view of the towers from outside their home.

We spent one day driving to Lucca and exploring San Gimignano. Had a wonderful dinner (maybe my favorite of the trip) in San Gimignano. Then the next day saw Montereggione (tiny town but has existing old wall surrounding), Montalcino, Pienza and Montepulciano. We sampled wonderful cheese, meats, vinegar and wine. In Montepulciano we stumbled into a wine store that had extensive cellars and sampled (and bought) some delicious wine. Our second night we ate at our Band B and it was incredible-lots of yummy wine, pasta, veggies, etc.

Great views, great time together.

San G

Famous Tuscan church displayed on calendars and postcards

Enjoy

I am too overwhelmed to go through my euro photos more so until then a few things I have enjoyed since being back

Greenway walks. And walks with my new neighbor dog Ruby. And of course seeing my neighbors and friends more. 

My yard, which has been petty self sufficient this year. I am glad for the late summer and the cool breeze that is sticking around. 

Roma e Firenze

Our first 2 days were spent in Rome and Florence. Since I studied in Florence it honestly feels like going home, which may be why we keep wanting to go back there. The streets, the smells, the sounds are all so familiar and immediately draw me back to a wonderful four months of life. Anyway, here are a few highlights.
I met up with John and Mom in Rome and we saw some great pieces of art, churches and homes away from the main palaces. 

St. Peter's

In Palazzo Barberini

Piazza Navona

 In Florence we revisited some of our favorites; kept plenty of time to roam and shop in the Mercato, ate great meals and relaxed in my favorite Piazza.

John with his meat plate at Trattoria Spada

Duomo

Shopping in the market

Wandered to find this ceramic shop that I went to as a student

Piazza della Signoria

Wine in the Piazza

Enjoying Santa Croce by night (post gelato :)