If I had to summarize big themes of what I have been learning about myself I could come up with atleast two off the top of my head. First, I don't know the extent to which I am loved. The second, and topic of this blog, is that I seem to carry burdens or take on emotionally and mentally and spiritually the responsibility for things that are not mine. I realized this again yesterday. After a relaxing break at my parents I felt burdens piling upon my shoulders as I got back to Nashville. I didn't realize until yesterday all of the things I was feeling responsible for and how dragged down and weighty I felt.
In taking some time yesterday I had a realization...all these things I feel responsible for I have at some time or another turned them over to the Lord. However I was forgetting to continue to talk to him about these things and in not doing so I take them on as mine to fight and mine to fix. I am impatient in my waiting to see the Lord work. Two scriptures that came to mind from Matthew: Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.(7:7) and Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light (11:28, 30). Both of these verses speak of communication: come, ask, seek, knock...that is simply what I do and in doing so will feel the easiness and lightness of the Lord's rest.
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